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We all want to change our internal reality on some level.
The way we think, interpret, react, cope, expect, process, interact and
communicate. The way we create our own experiences: good and bad. The way we
manage our fears. Or, perhaps, don't manage them. The way we avoid the big
decisions. The way we wait. And wait. And wait. That is, procrastinate.
The way we see ourselves. Talk to ourselves. The way we feel. Our emotions. The
way we deal with stressful situations.
Or, perhaps, the way we create stress in our world. The way we see the world and
us in it. The labels we give things. The meaning we give certain experiences.
The way we give away our power. And take it back. The way we look for approval.
And acceptance.
The way we beat ourselves up. And make ourselves unhappy. The way we pretend.
And act. And deny. The way we continue on with the same unproductive and
destructive patterns, habits and behaviours.
The way we have the same pointless conversations about the same issues with the
same people. And produce the same less-than-desirable results. Forever. The way
we do the same things over and over and then curiously wonder why nothing
changes. The way we start things we never finish.
Yes, we all want to change on some level. We all want to become a better version
of us. To learn, grow, evolve and adapt. That's why we explore personal
development stuff.
So, what is the single quickest way to create internal shift? To change the way
we think, feel, interpret, react, cope, expect, process, interact and
communicate?
Three simple words:
Experience new things.
Do Different to Be Different
When we do things we've never done before, there's an instant and automatic
internal shift. Expectations, emotions, attitudes and beliefs (about what's
possible for us) change. The internal shift is simply a by-product of a new
experience. Of doing something we've never done before.
Change comes from doing. For the most part, we don't 'think' ourselves
different; we 'do' ourselves different, so to speak.
We need to 'action' our way to internal transformation. Which is why the theory
of personal development is worthless until it becomes a practical reality. Until
the concepts and ideas are turned into behaviours. Some people are theoretical
geniuses but practical idiots. They talk a lot but do very little.
Change comes from doing. Which is why an article like this can be
transformational or worthless - it all depends on you.
The Runner
For the forty-five year-old woman who runs a half-marathon for the first time in
her life, the transformation will be more emotional and psychological
(internal), than it will be physical (external).
She finishes her event and without focusing on anything other than the physical
process, she has gained more confidence, her standards and expectations have
changed, she's less fearful and she's more excited about her future
possibilities. Her new experience has created internal shift.
The Ex-Scaredy Cat
Then there's the insecure, fearful guy who runs into a burning house and saves a
child. In an instant, his default setting is changed forever.
He does something that he never thought was possible (for him) and with one
brave, selfless action, many of his self-limiting beliefs are smashed. He is
empowered. The world is the same but he is different. Therefore, his world is
different.
The Graduate
There's the self-proclaimed dummy who enrolls in university, does the work,
develops the study-skills, learns the academic language, passes the exams and
gains the degree.
She is forever changed. The ability was always there but the confidence wasn't.
Her self-limiting thinking and self-sabotaging behaviours become a thing of the
past - as a by-product of doing something she had never done.
The Traveller
There's the woe-is-me guy who visits a third world country. He instantly
realises that his horrible life in the USA is actually fantastic. And that his
lifestyle is actually one of privilege, not disadvantage.
He identifies that his self-pitying, negative attitude has always been his
problem. Without even looking for it, his experience in another part of the
world teaches him to acknowledge, value and appreciate what he has (which is
plenty). Nothing changes but everything changes.
The Business Woman
There's the girl who sets up her own business. She doesn't think about it, plan
for it or talk about it (any more). No, she actually does it.
In the first twelve months of owning her own business, she learns and grows more
than she has in the last twelve years. The experience changes her.
And Me...
While I am constantly reading and studying, the place I've always learned the
most, had my biggest breakthroughs and experienced my biggest (internal) shifts
was when I stepped out of my over-thinking mind and experienced new things.
If you're like me (an experiential learner), then perhaps it's time for you to
experience something new. To do something you've never done.
And no, it doesn't need to be a major event, so don't talk yourself out of it
before you even start. It might be something relatively minor like:
- trying yoga
- talking to a stranger
- going for a jog
- learning an instrument
- doing some
volunteer work
- asking someone out for coffee
... or even leaving a comment on your
favorite site.
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